Letter to my first born (becoming a big brother)
To my sweet Raylon Wayne, As I lay here, with your head on my chest, the tears sneak up on me. I can’t stop thinking of how you are who made me a mommy. With you, I had no clue what I was doing but together we’ve somehow managed. I wish I could rewind and do a few things over again but I know that time keeps moving on. I only hope I loved and held you enough.
Right now, in this moment I just want to hold and squeeze you so much tighter knowing these are one of our last moments with just “us”. In just two short weeks, both of our worlds are going to be turned upside down. You will become a big brother. For the very first time, you will have to learn to share mommy while I learn to give equal amounts to both you and your brother.
The thought that I could ever love another the way that I love you seems impossible. But I know, with pregnancy, a mommy’s heart grows so that it can fill with the same amount of love for a sibling.
Becoming a big brother is a big responsibility and there will be times when it will feel like it is too much. But I promise that when my baby brother was born, I didn’t know it then, but I instantly had a lifelong friend. Your Bubba, Layton, is the biggest gift I can give to you. I already know you will be an amazing big brother because your entire face lights up when you see a baby. You are the sweetest most lovable little boy I’ve ever known.
As you and Layton grow up there will be fights and disagreements but you will be amazed at how quickly you both will forget what you are mad about and instantly go back to being best friends. I’m so excited to watch you grow up together.
During these last two weeks please excuse your momma if she kisses and hugs on you too much or if you feel teardrops on your head. I’m trying to prepare my heart for the big changes to come. I love you Raylon Wayne Rees much more than you will ever know. You were my first born, my first baby and the first little boy to say I love you mommy. We share a special bond. I hope that you continue to always feel the love your mommy has for you.
We are in this together, forever.
Love always, Your mommy